Time changes for most of the country here in a couple of weeks which means those evenings are going to get looonnnngg. 

We’ve already started jammie walks with my kids after dinner, grabbing the flashlights and heading out the door to grab the mail while we admire the Halloween decorations and constantly say, “Please don’t shine your flashlights in people’s windows.”

The long, dark evenings can seem daunting, but it’s a nice reminder to put more focus on our circadian rhythms. Traditionally, humans would wake up with the sun and go to sleep when it went down. I’m not saying go to bed at 5:00, but I am saying that instead of complaining about the darkness, use it as an opportunity to channel our ancestors.

I have been on a journey to fine tune my internal clock for about a year and a half now, and it has its ebbs and flows but overall, small changes have made a huge impact.

There’s more to it than just when you go to sleep and wake up – though, consistency is important. It’s what times you eat, getting light in your eyes in the morning, staying away from blue light in the evenings, and planning your exercise for a time that is in tune with your body. 

I want to key in on the blue light subject. 

Our ancestors did not have artificial light, so like I said above, their circadian rhythms were in perfect harmony with the sun. At our current spot in evolution, unfortunately we have cell phones. And TVs. And tablets. And computers. With 24 hour access.

When I started my health recovery journey, I was addicted to my phone. (I could still use some help in this area if I’m being fully transparent.) It was my escape route, and as a mom it felt like a lifeline – the place where I ordered groceries, shopped for household essentials, answered e-mails, reached out to other humans over the age of 2, and got small dopamine hits from finding pretty things on Pinterest. 

Most of the tasks I just mentioned happened after the hour of 8:00 at night because that’s when I had uninterrupted time. 

Then I discovered that this habit was actually really messing with my sleep, especially my quality of sleep. 

I would wonder, Why can’t I shut my brain off at night? Why am I waking up at 1 AM and 3 AM and 5 AM? It was annoying and really not great for my body. I tried everything I could think of, but it wasn’t until my nutritionist had me on a strict ‘No screens two hours before bed’ policy that my rhythm started to improve.

I started putting my phone in my bedroom when the kids went to bed. Out of sight, out of mind – or at least out of reach. I also got some cute blue light glasses from Goodr for when I needed to be on electronics.

Then the next thing to tackle was watching less TV in the evenings. Dun Dun Duuunnnn. My husband and I loved our shows. Not only was it something to look forward to, but it was how we connected with friends by talking about the things we were watching. 

But again, health had become a priority. So we stopped. Cold turkey. For months we didn’t watch a single show after 8 PM unless we had guests in town, and even then we tried not to.

So what the heck did you do you might wonder….

We started playing card games and board games. On repeat. Night after night. We would play the same one for a few months and then get the urge to switch it up. 

It might sound boring and monotonous, but it was actually the best thing we could’ve done for our sleep and for our relationship. We were able to talk, be playful, and bring out our competitive sides in a healthy way. We sat facing each other instead of plopped down on opposite couches. 

After a while, I didn’t even want to watch TV. I would rather spend that time talking to Nick and connecting about the things I learned and experienced that day and hearing his thoughts about life.  

Over the past year and a half we have tried quite a few different games, but honestly we keep going back to the same five. 

These are our favorites, in no particular order:

1. Skip Bo – who doesn’t love a card game with easy rules and quick set up. Plus, it’s simple to add in more people if you have guests.
2. Phase 10 – if you get bored with it, Google different phases to use, trust me, it will be like a whole new game
3. Patchwork – we recently started this one and it’s a great puzzle game to flex your brain
4. Carcassonne – my favorite. I love games where you build things and get points.
5. Monopoly Deal – simple instructions, brings out a little fire in all of us when your partner steals a property with no remorse

Nothing earth shattering here, but they are great ones to get you started on your journey to connecting more and improving your sleep. (Plus, they are easy to learn so you won’t want to strangle your partner who is reading the instructions out loud when you really just want to read them yourself.)

These days, we have a few shows that we watch occasionally – light hearted, 30 minute ones that we usually watch first leaving us time to play a quick card game before bed.

Give it a try this month. Turn off the TV one night a week, sit at a table, on the floor, or use your ottoman as a game table. Connect with your partner and see what happens to your relationships and your sleep. Trust me, the shows will still be there tomorrow as will the e-mails and Instagram posts. 

Traci xx