“Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, can I show you this, Mom?”

“Mommy, where’s my stuffed panda?” 

“Mom, can I have another snack?”

I love hearing the little voices echoing around the house, and I have been able to shift my mindset from being overwhelmed by the constant questions to finding the gratitude that my kids are choosing me to help them solve their problems or share their ideas with. 

But, it does get to be more like a conveyor belt of tasks instead of moments of genuine connection. 

My arms are doing three different things at once – handing out a cheese stick, cleaning up the spilled water, texting their dad to pick up the groceries on the way home. All while smiling and nodding at my toddler showing me her newest Barbie hairdo. 

I wouldn’t trade it. Not for a minute. 

But, I have been yearning for a more genuine connection with them every day. 

We read together every night, but sometimes bedtime is more routine than presence. And although I long to have deeper conversations with them, sometimes it’s hard to come up with topics or say the magic phrase that helps them open up. 

That’s when I stumbled upon a couple of great options for opening the door. And my kids love them. 

• Ninja Cards: These are fabulous, simple questions that all three of my kids can understand and answer. They  have a blast picking a number, and then I get to see their little brains churning as they think of things like “What would happen if your dreams came true?” or “What does your body feel like when it’s angry?”
• Table Topics: I don’t have this set for kids (it’s been on my wishlist), but my husband and I have a set for relationships. They are great for initiating conversations about things you might not normally talk or think about. Some examples of the questions on their website are “What would your superhero superpower be?” and “What makes you feel better when you’re sick”. I also noticed they have some “would you rather” questions thrown in which my boys love (probably not the “would you rather eat boogers or dog food” like they normally ask each other). 

My husband has been reading a parenting book lately before bed, and one of the main takeaways is that connection with your kids, especially in times of distress can change the situation/tantrum/meltdown more quickly than almost any other intervention. 

It’s a great idea to start building that connection during times of calm so that when an energetic, wild moment does arise, the connection piece feels calm, safe, and normal to the child. An emotional blankie if you will. 

Well, I’m off to the bus stop and to see if I can squeak out two minutes of connection on the walk home, and if not we’ll have our Ninja Card time tonight with a side of ninja moves and booger talk.

Traci xx