Are we over scheduling our kids?
As I sit here on a Thursday night at an indoor soccer practice during the time when we should be eating dinner, I’m inclined to say yes. Or YES!
Yes, we are on the go a lot. And we aren’t even the busiest family I know. Not in the least.
When I started to return to some semblance of normalcy with my health this school year, we made a rule in our house of no more than one activity per kid at a time. Yes. Sounds perfectly balanced.
But…that quickly became a, let’s say, soft rule. It went from “Okay, everyone is doing fall soccer and that’s simple and great” to “But they also want to try Scouts and we should also do this after school activity in October for 5 weeks”. Snowball.
Before we knew it we were out of the house for something kid related 7 days a week.
What’s the alternative though?
Miss out? Do nothing?
Well, opt out. Leave the race.
Stay home.
Focus on building a strong family foundation.
Play soccer in the backyard. Go to the science center together. Make time for family dinners with friends anchored in conversation and play. Sit at the dinner table and enjoy our meal while chatting about the day.
My mind immediately jumps to…but what are we going to miss out on?
But what about learning teamwork?
What about their athletic skills?
What about time with their friends?
I guess what I’m saying is I feel some kind of parental FOMO. Like if our activities aren’t keeping up with others then we’re somehow behind. Our kids are going to get left in the dust, perpetually losing the race.
The key here is that I feel the FOMO. Me. Mom. Not my kids.
Why?
I don’t actually know. I guess as a parent we all want to see our kids succeed, and it’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of thinking that “succeeding” means being the best soccer player in the 2nd grade or having the most friends at their birthday party. Societal imprints are hard to break.
Pssst… Here’s a little secret: none of that matters. (I’m also saying this so I can hear it myself.) It does not matter. What does matter? Character. Empathy. Communication. Connection. Knowing that they have a safe, happy place to come home to when the outside world gets sticky.
But, like I said, here I am sitting in the gym at 6:00 on a Thursday watching my kid play soccer, digesting a meal we had to eat at 4:30 instead of our normal time. He’s happy though. And active. And I get a chance to write.
So, I don’t know what the answer is. Are we overscheduling our kids? Ourselves? Maybe. Maybe not.
I do know that the nights where we play Uno on the living room floor in our jammies feel just as good, if not better, than watching their teams score goals bright and early on a Saturday morning.
Whether you thrive on activities or long for more quiet, just know that it is okay to not keep up. Give yourself permission to fall away from the pack and focus on your family, the simplicity, the easy days because they really do matter.
Traci xx